From Surviving to Thriving

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In today's fast-paced and demanding world, leaders face immense pressure to deliver results, meet deadlines, and inspire their teams. Amidst these challenges, maintaining a positive and empowered mindset becomes crucial for effective leadership. Enter the concept of the "aliveness mindset." This approach, rooted in bringing the best version of oneself into everyday experiences, offers leaders a powerful tool to not only enhance their own performance but also to uplift and energize those around them.An aliveness mindset fosters greater joy, energy, and passion, translating into higher levels of engagement and fulfillment in both personal and professional settings. Leaders who adopt this mindset can dramatically shift their perspective from one of mere survival and reactivity to thriving and proactive growth. This episode delves into the practical components of cultivating such a mindset, sharing actionable strategies and real-life success stories that highlight the transformative impacts on leadership performance.Understanding and embracing an aliveness mindset is more than a personal journey; it’s a leadership imperative. Leaders who master this approach can break free from limiting patterns, foster trust and creativity within their teams, and achieve sustainable success marked by genuine fulfillment. This episode serves as a guide for leaders aiming to unlock their potential and lead with renewed vigor and purpose.

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Jack, sir, welcome to the show. So good to have you here today.

Jack Craven00:00:04 - 00:00:08

Thank you, Scott. I'm excited to be with you and to have a great conversation.

Scott McCarthy00:00:09 - 00:00:39

Me too. So we're talking about all about mindset today. So here moving or I should say peak performance leadership, which is the podcast name, my company's name is Moving Forward Leadership. So they go hand in hand. I like to talk about leadership in 3 domains. That is leading yourself, leading your team, and then leading your organization. Today, I feel like we're gonna kinda stick in that leading yourself domain, but I'm sure it'll be applicable across the board. Would you not agree? You're, like, violently shaking your head, so I'll take that as agreement.

Scott McCarthy00:00:40 - 00:00:48

So first off, like, what do you mean by aliveness aliveness mindset? Like, what does that even mean in the first place?

Jack Craven00:00:49 - 00:01:26

Yeah. It's something that I'm really passionate about, and, it really means bringing the best version of yourself into your day to day experience. And what I realized over time, Scott, was that most people don't even think about that on a daily basis. And maybe it happens to come like lightning in a bottle. And really my life changed when I became intentional on trying to feel alive every day. And that became a practice of mine, and that becomes something that I work with with the leaders and the teams that I work with is to get them into an aliveness mindset.

Scott McCarthy00:01:28 - 00:02:03

That's awesome. And, you know, as you say that, I can just I I feel it, I feel it through the leaders every day, the the ones I talk to, the ones I coach, And there's, like, oh, I'm just dragging. I'm you know, I feel dead here. This play like, I don't see any growth in this place. This place is, you know, a place where people go to die. I've even heard and, you know, you name it all all in between. But we try to you know, as coaches, we try to get their mindset and shift it towards the positive. Right? And I was talking with my team members today about that, and I was like, alright.

Scott McCarthy00:02:03 - 00:02:23

We need to shift things to positive. Let's start focusing on the positive because it's just so easy to think about the negative. So the live in this mindset, I'd love to hear more about, you know, what what does this mean? What, you know, what what makes this up? Right? What are the components of it, for the leader out there listening in?

Jack Craven00:02:24 - 00:03:00

Yeah. Thank you. It really became a realization where I had been running a business for over 20 years. And it was certainly financially profitable and learned a lot, and it was, you know, some really great skills that I picked up. And what we it was a family business, Scott. But what I realized over time is the business, you know, had challenges. And even when we were going doing well is that it didn't really fulfill me. If we had a great deal, if we had a great month of sales, it was certainly nice, but I didn't really get any intrinsic value out of it.

Jack Craven00:03:01 - 00:03:59

And what I recognized is that what I really valued were my deep relationships and having an impact in people's lives. And so the awareness of how do I bring more joy, more energy, more passion, more aliveness into my day, how do I create that as a practice Became something that not only motivated me a great deal, I saw the impact it had in my own life with my wife, with my kids, with people around me. And I wanted to have others have the same experience. And what I was able to realize is that some of these traits and some of the practices I were doing were transferable. And that was really a big and that became the basis of my practice when I work with leaders. I'm not only here to tell you how to better lead, but how to show up as the best version of yourself every day rather than being brought down or having negative energy about your day in the meetings that you're attending.

Scott McCarthy00:04:01 - 00:04:31

There's so much that I love. So let's just go back to the whole the family aspect, and you mentioned that, right, and bringing your best, you know, best of you forward because I don't know how many times, and, like, I felt this in the past too. And talking with the leaders again, like, coach, like, so many of them are like, oh, get home. It's just drained. Like, well, day really starts. Right? You get home to your spouse. If you got kids, you get home to them, and, like, they haven't seen you all day. They don't know what your day is like.

Scott McCarthy00:04:32 - 00:05:07

And, ultimately, I shouldn't say they don't care, but they kinda don't care the same same way. Right? Like, they're expecting you. But if you don't feel it, then you come home, and you're just drained. You're not bringing your best version forward. And what I'm hearing out of you this whole that whole time there, it's like the whole airplane analogy. Right? Like, oh, put your your oxygen mask on first before assisting others. And so many leaders out there just aren't doing that. They're just driving themselves to the ground to the point where they don't feel alive anymore.

Scott McCarthy00:05:08 - 00:05:09

Why is that from your perspective?

Jack Craven00:05:11 - 00:06:08

I think that it's really become up just in patterns about this is the way we operate. What does society value? Society values people that work hard even if it means that we're working too hard. It means that we have to get ahead. We don't often think about there's it really takes a leap of faith, Scott, that some people believe that operating from fear and being really directive and almost autocratic, that that is a way to achieve a goal. And I do agree it's a way. Is it a healthy way? Is it a is this is it sustainable? I don't think so. And yet some people believe when the more that you're operating from fear, you're gonna be staying in reactivity and you're gonna be doing things based from that lens. I'm gonna be looking at my life and leading my team or my company from a place of fear and reactivity, and that's gonna be transmitted.

Jack Craven00:06:09 - 00:06:20

And there's a belief that this is the way to get what I want rather than there's another way that may even be a better way that but I don't have experience in that. Am I willing to make that leap?

Scott McCarthy00:06:22 - 00:06:49

Right. Absolutely. So, you know, how do we how do we make that leap? You know? Where where do we go with that so that the leader can get away from being this reactive authoritarian leader on the far end of the spectrum? Because I talk about the leadership spectrum. So on one side is completely authoritarian, the other side is completely laissez faire. We need to be yeah. You know, it depends on the situation, but we kinda wanna be a little further on the other side. So how do we get there?

Jack Craven00:06:50 - 00:07:43

One of the ways that I do that, Scott, is I ask my clients about when they've been most fulfilled in their lives. What are they most proud of, particularly as a leader? And when I hear them share some of those stories, we then kind of break down what are the traits? What was happening when you were at your best? It almost always involves another person in a memory. It involves helping them or having an impact on them more often than not. And then I get them to think about what if you could have more moments of that as a leader? What do you think the impact would be if you could get not only show up as the best version of yourself, but help people on your team show up the better version of themselves. And that gets them excited. You know, there's they can see that there's more potential and that they're looking at things from a more limited mindset currently.

Scott McCarthy00:07:46 - 00:08:09

Yeah. It it's it's all the, as they say, the, fixed mindset versus the growth mindset. Right? And trying to get the trying to get people out of that fixed mindset. Like, oh, this is just how it is. Things are never gonna get better, so we just carry on to that growth mindset. Like, okay. Well, what can we do? What might we be able to do? How might we be able to achieve these things? And just shifted it over.

Jack Craven00:08:09 - 00:08:34

I love it. Yes. And so Carol Dweck, who is the creator of growth mindset and just brilliant work, there's many other people that have followed her work. And so all of this is consistent with that. And one of the things I like to say from an empowering place is that what we tell ourselves becomes our reality. I can't tell you how many clients of mine say my work is a grind. I felt that way. My work was a grind.

Jack Craven00:08:34 - 00:09:39

If you tell yourself your work is a grind, guess what? It's going to feel like a grind. And what I'm saying is I'm not saying to, you know, leap the bounds of reality here, but could you put a more positive or optimistic spin to what you're doing? And I'll just give a brief example of this that is a an actual story from one of my clients where he used to say, you know, that throughout the day, everyone was interrupting him from doing his real job. And so then I said, how do you think you show up when you believe that every person is interrupting you? And he had a real awareness there from a place of reactivity. I said, what's another way that you could look at it when someone comes to you that's on your team? He told himself, I get to coach. He loved being a coach in sports and in life and and as a leader. So the reframe is instead of my work as a grind and people are interrupting me, it's that I get to coach people and help them improve. It was a dramatic shift in how he showed up at work, and his team recognized the difference. They felt it.

Scott McCarthy00:09:41 - 00:10:05

You know, I talk about in every challenge, there's opportunity. In every opportunity, there's challenge. So, that that's just such a great example, I think, of that saying because, yeah, it it's a challenge when people show up. But as you so brilliantly explained, like, here's the opportunity. Let's focus on the opportunity. This is given yeah. Sure. You you know, you're you're delayed getting the TPS report done, but here's the channel.

Scott McCarthy00:10:05 - 00:10:19

Here's the opportunity, which is to coach people and do something you're passionate about and love. And, you know, that can fulfill you, and when you get fulfilled, now suddenly that transpires into, you know, the work you're doing, the quote, unquote real work. Don't you agree?

Jack Craven00:10:19 - 00:11:05

Agreed. And what I have found and what others have found is that actually our potential is so much greater when we're looking at things from an aliveness mindset. If you're looking at things from a scarcity or fixed mindset or reactivity, we're not seeing all the options. We're not we're not thinking creatively. We're really just trying to survive. That's the way our brain is wired. So it's understanding that this wiring is meant to protect us, but it also can limit us. Can we challenge those thoughts that hold us back? And one of them being that I can actually feel alive every single day in the moments that I put my attention to it regardless of what's happening around me.

Scott McCarthy00:11:07 - 00:11:23

That's, that's so awesome. So with that, along those notes, you know, do you have some other type of mindset framing that that the leaders out there, can use for different situations? I'd love to hear, you know, what types you know, the different types of the situations leader can use them and what they can employ.

Jack Craven00:11:24 - 00:12:01

Yeah. I I appreciate the question. So one of the things I try to have leaders early on is think about the traits that they are experiencing when they have the memories where they're most proud or when they have memories when they've been alive earlier in their lives. And actually, Scott, what I'd like to do if we're if you're a game today, is think about just any moment in your life where you felt most alive. And would you be willing to share just a short story? And that way I can not only just talk about it, but I can have you as well as your audience kind of experience what I might do with someone.

Scott McCarthy00:12:02 - 00:12:42

Yeah. Absolutely. So a great experience, I would say, was, actually, yeah. So, a couple of years ago, I took my 2 sons and one of my sons' friends to one of my work locations. So so I do this in the evenings on the side. Don't know, if you know anything about my background, but by the day, I'm a senior Canadian army officer. So, in the role I was in, I was, with an organization that was, we were at high readiness all the time. That was the whole ready to roll all the time.

Scott McCarthy00:12:42 - 00:13:40

That was the that was the, you know, whole mandate of the unit, to watch my wife's chagrin. She did not enjoy me being there for for a grand total of 5 years. So, anyway, in this role as the chief logistics officer of this organization, I held I had all of our equipment down at the airbase where we would deploy out of. So I took my boys and, and their and one of their friends down. I was, like, just walking around and just seeing them so excited to see all, you know, the equipment, the vehicles, all the big heavy equipment, all this stuff, all this army kit. Knock no guns, just FYI. But but just seeing them and you know, to, you know, what we do with it and why why it was so important, it was just, like, such a great moment for me because it was kinda like that coaching thing, but as well as, you know, letting your kid enter a little bit of your wife, which they don't get to see. They hear about it, but they don't get to see.

Jack Craven00:13:41 - 00:13:51

And by letting them see that, you opened up a door to them and you got the opportunity to bring joy to them, to bring excitement to them, to have

Scott McCarthy00:13:51 - 00:13:51

Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

Jack Craven00:13:52 - 00:14:26

Experience with them. And so one of the things that I would, you know, just from this example that you gave, Scott, is that you like to bring joy and create these exceptional experiences with others. And I imagine if you put really intention on that and really thought about that, and I'm sure you're already doing that on many levels. But if you were to even be more focused and more intentional on bringing those experiences into your day, I'll bet that you could add to the experiences that you currently provide to others. These kind of moments of excitement.

Scott McCarthy00:14:27 - 00:15:39

Yeah. Yeah. I I think I'm already doing it as you say it. So, you know, we have the podcast, but the one of the other things that we have here at Moving Forward Leadership, which is, you know, the the overarching company, is, the leader growth mastermind where we bring leaders in and we talk about their challenges, and they get to pick my brain and get to pick other leaders' brains. And I bring a lot of those experiences to the forefront so people can, you know, kinda put their situation's overlay to it and allow them to get help and allow them to, you know, talk through this, so they can, you know, go out and be like, okay, more clear headed and and and move forward with positivity, which, you know, I'll share a success story. 1 of the one of the members, and I won't say his name because privacy is a core fat value of the mastermind. So I'll just say mister s, you know, got promoted twice on probation because of the positivity and just, you know, being in that that positive mindset out of the out of the community. Right? Just constantly being solutions focused, proactive, and and leading himself, much as what we talked about.

Scott McCarthy00:15:40 - 00:16:04

Just a quick little, like, little story to add to this story per se, but an example, I guess, of the story was, like, when we were talking, he's, like, oh, I'm so exhausted. My afternoons are just drained, you know, much as what we talked to. I said, alright. Cool. Like, what are you doing during your lunchtime? He's, like, I'm just crunching. Like, he's like, you know, most of us just sit at the desk and we just crunch. I'm like, but is are you expected to? Like, is that he's like, no. No.

Scott McCarthy00:16:04 - 00:16:20

No. We're allowed to do whatever we want. Some people, you know, will occasionally go and get something out. Like, how about you go for a walk? I said, yeah, it's a good idea. So you start going for a walk. I'll make it a long story short, but guess what that'll happen? They'll have a walking club. Yeah. Wow.

Scott McCarthy00:16:20 - 00:16:50

Right? You know, the whole team started going out and going for walks at lunchtime with them because, they were all like, oh, wow. Like, what are you doing? Like, going for a walk. Oh, can I join? Sure. And suddenly, like, you know, 5, 6 people added on, and the team started going for walks at lunchtime just to flush out. And and it's just I bring when I hear these stories during our calls, we have weekly calls, and when I hear these stories, it's just like you know, it fulfills me so much. Like, I'm even getting pumped up now talking about it. I'm sure you see it.

Jack Craven00:16:50 - 00:17:00

No. I do see it, and that's the point. And if I were to tell you and I said, Scott, what if you could feel more like that every day? You're in.

Scott McCarthy00:17:00 - 00:17:02

100%. I

Jack Craven00:17:02 - 00:17:46

try to do is that is helping people understand that there is another way to live. And sometimes it starts with if you want something just practical for the people that might be listening, I'd like to start people off by thinking, what does aliveness feel like to you? What examples do you have when you've felt most alive just like you shared your score story, Scott? And then I begin to have them think intentionally about if you could just do one thing today that would bring some aliveness. Start with that. So in addition, between now and the rest of your day to day, Scott, is there one thing that you could do that maybe you hadn't planned on that you could do to bring you a spark of aliveness? And if so, what would that be?

Scott McCarthy00:17:48 - 00:17:58

You know, that's a, great question. Personally, I don't know what because because I'm pretty I, you know, I'm pretty sad.

Jack Craven00:17:58 - 00:18:24

Yeah. So Perfect. I appreciate that. So here's just a couple of things I've discovered, and it's different for everyone. It could be, sending a funny text to my kids. It could be, you know, playing around with my dog around the house. It could be surprising a good friend or my wife with something. What I'm saying is it doesn't have to be this big over the top things, but these are things that I've looked at and I've recognized.

Jack Craven00:18:24 - 00:18:40

These are some of the small things that I could do to bring even more aliveness. It could certainly be like you having an impact with someone, you know, really making some kind of breakthrough. Those are also there. So there can be big things, but they could also be smaller, more intimate things that bring that spark of aliveness.

Scott McCarthy00:18:42 - 00:19:00

And that's, one of the things we we coach about too. It's like, you know, we don't always have to do the big big things, and most importantly, you know, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Right? Like, you can go ahead, may you know, do it once a day as you said, and and some days you forget, and that's okay. And

Jack Craven00:19:01 - 00:19:34

Exactly. And what what I do sense though is that there is some kind of inertia that once you realize, hey. If I did that one thing, and it could be for that person, it could be going for a walk helps him feel alive, and he has all these people around him. I think that's incredible. You know, but you you get to determine what aliveness feels like and you because each person is unique, and you get to determine what are the things that help me feel alive. And the more that you are looking for it, the more that you will find it, the more that you make a practice of it, those things add up over time.

Scott McCarthy00:19:36 - 00:20:03

You know, you just hit exactly where I'd like to go. And I you hit with the keyword you used, practice. You know, my military background were all about habits, routines, rituals. How can people kinda, you know, establish that in their daily lives? Because no doubt you're you hear all the time, so busy. Yes. So so busy. No time for nothing else. Yeah.

Jack Craven00:20:04 - 00:20:48

Again, it's the I am all about practice and habit. I'm a very routine oriented person. I've worked I've gotten up at 4:30 every morning for probably the past 35 plus years, Scott. And every day by 5 o'clock, I'm at my health club because that's one of the things that makes me feel alive. I don't think am I gonna work out today? I'm I think out what am I gonna do today? And so but the care is that I love feeling fit. I love, you know, having energy throughout the day. I'm the energizer bunny from about 4:30 AM till about 8:30 PM. And so it's getting people excited about what's the carrot if they feel that way.

Jack Craven00:20:48 - 00:21:31

So I'm gonna give you some practical things that I do with every single person that's also part of my practice. I start with I encourage my clients to think of what are their anchoring mindsets. These are another word would be affirmations. So for me, my anchoring mindsets or affirmations are I wanna have a playful attitude play. I wanna deeply connect with the people I'm with. I wanna learn and grow and I wanna have impact. So one of the things that people can start with, and this is all laid out in the practices in the book, is create your own making mindsets, your affirmations that you wake up to and you think about throughout the day. You meet might even have them on sticky notes or things, on your desk.

Jack Craven00:21:31 - 00:21:59

So it's anchoring mindsets. The other thing I do is visual to me is important. On my desk, Scott, I'll just pick up a picture right now. This is right here. This is a picture of my family, but not just any picture. It's on my 60th birthday and they all got fake tattoos, like my tattoo on my bicep and that is all in. And so seeing that picture of my family, I don't care what kind of day I'm having. It let it brightens my day.

Jack Craven00:21:59 - 00:22:13

It helps me feel alive. So it's being intentional about what are the traits about how I wanna show up. Are there visual things that I could do? These are a couple key things that I invite people to do to make this into a practice.

Scott McCarthy00:22:16 - 00:22:25

You gotta be the energizer, buddy. 4:30 in the morning till 8:30 at night. You don't hit the gym till 5 PM? Like, my god. What are you doing so early in the morning?

Jack Craven00:22:26 - 00:22:28

I I I'm at the gym at 5 AM when they open.

Scott McCarthy00:22:29 - 00:22:31

Oh, 5 AM. Okay. I I misunderstood.

Jack Craven00:22:31 - 00:22:32

I thought

Scott McCarthy00:22:32 - 00:22:34

you're in the gym in evenings. No. No. Okay.

Jack Craven00:22:35 - 00:23:20

But and and I take bike rides almost every afternoon even in Chicago because I Scott, that's where I'm most creative. So one of the things that I have people also do is making where whatever your creative whatever can make you feel creative, whatever can make you feel alive, prioritizing that on your calendar. Instead of settling for leftovers, it's you make sure whether it's you create your own calendar or your EA. These are the times that I want to have. I'm gonna end my day at this time or I'm in the middle of my day. This is the activity I'm gonna do because this activity just fulfills me and energizes me. Those become the priority, and I make sure that I do those 9 days out of 10.

Scott McCarthy00:23:22 - 00:24:13

It's kinda like a modified Eisenhower matrix. Right? If you know the if you know the matrix I'm referring to, do delegate, schedule delete, and it's like, okay. I'm going to do the things which empower me the most, fulfill me the most that I get the organization, the team get the most out of me because I'm just so into it. But the rest of the things, like, let's, you know, let's head it off to someone else or what have you. Hi, Jack. I'd just like to change gears quickly, and I know you're about to say something so you can feel free to add in what is you're going to say. What I would like to know, from your perspective how leaders can also take this mindset and apply to their teams. Apply because I feel like that's like a force multiplier as we say in the army.

Scott McCarthy00:24:13 - 00:24:16

Like, it makes, you know, everything so much better.

Jack Craven00:24:17 - 00:25:22

Yeah. Thank you. So what I you know, when you think about bringing this to your teams, it's having them start off with greater awareness of when are they in reactivity. When do they feel that when do they withhold? When are they operating from fear or threat? And getting them to understand how what kinds of decisions are you making from when you're in fear and reactivity. And if you had more trust, if you were in a more grounded place, think of times when you've been a leader then, and what kinds of decisions did you make. And it goes to this extent, Scott, of it's they're probably gonna be operating for more trust. And if your team feels more trusted that you've got their back, that you're willing to have them take calculated risks in service of trying something new or achieving high levels of success, you're gonna get more out of them. If you get more out of them, there's gonna be a waterfall effect on them leading their teams.

Jack Craven00:25:22 - 00:26:00

Is what if we operated with more trust? That if people did make a mistake, we're going to learn from it. We're not gonna say that I mean, anything goes, but you're not gonna be penalized for taking some risk that was in service of trying to have a positive impact on the company or from their department, from their team. And I think that is all a part of it. I don't think that you can feel alive if you're in a reactive place. And again, the more that they can recognize how they show up in the better version of themselves to be more inspiring, to get more out of their teams, they're gonna be more interested in how can I do this too?

Scott McCarthy00:26:02 - 00:26:28

You know, it just reinforces that sense of psychological safety really with trust as the cornerstone of leading, things we preach here all the time regularly at the People Performance Leadership Podcast. Jack, before we wrap up, just wanna ask you, you know, is there anything which you think would be important for the leader to know, that we haven't really touched yet? Something that they or something they can take and apply to right now, tomorrow, what have you?

Jack Craven00:26:30 - 00:26:58

Yeah. I think the first one would be is that you are your potential is far greater than you can imagine if you start to adopt an aliveness mindset. 2, anybody can bring more aliveness into their lives. 3, whatever stories you're telling yourself about why this is impossible, that's where the work begins. Is to challenge the thoughts that are holding you back from bringing the best version of self and bringing aliveness into your life.

Scott McCarthy00:27:01 - 00:27:13

Wow. Truth bombs, being dropped. Jack, sir, it's been great. Final question of the show, where can people find you, follow you, shameless plug? How about it, sir? It's all about you.

Jack Craven00:27:13 - 00:27:37

Scott, I love to shamelessly plug myself. You can find me at jackcraven.com. And my my motto with my clients is living all in, which is living to your fullest life in all areas of your life. I'm on LinkedIn. I've got the website which has a lot of information about all the things that we've talked about as well as my book aliveness mindset, which you can get in all the great booksellers. Thank you, Scott.

Scott McCarthy00:27:38 - 00:28:04

No worries, sir. And for the listener, it's easy as always. It's in the show notes, of this, podcast episode. Check them out, and the links are there. And I would say to you, we've just barely scratched the surface of this topic just to give the listener enough to be able to start implementing, but more importantly, I would just get a taste and know that, what you're all about and what the sponsor's all about. So, again, thank you. Thank you for taking time. Everybody's schedule, sir.

Jack Craven00:28:04 - 00:28:06

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