How to Have Hard Conversations You're Avoiding (In a Way that Actually Strengthens Your Relationships)

We all have that one conversation we're dreading, whether it's at work or in our personal lives.

It's a common struggle, especially among leaders, with 50% identifying difficult conversations as their biggest challenge. Shockingly, 25% have postponed these talks for over a year! The fear of conflict, rejection, or simply not knowing what to say often holds us back.

But what if you could tackle these conversations confidently in just 15 minutes? The key lies in understanding the root of our fears and approaching the situation with a clear plan. Here are some strategies to help you navigate these tough talks:
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1. Timing is Everything: Choose a moment when both parties are calm and open to discussion.‍

2. Set Clear Intentions: Use positive framing, like Daniel Coyle’s approach from The Culture Code: "I’m giving you this feedback because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them."

3. Be Vulnerable and Honest: Share your intentions and feelings openly.

4. Clarify the Message: Start with a "headline" to guide the conversation.

5. Separate Facts from Feelings: This helps in fostering understanding.

6. Own Your Part: Acknowledge your role in the situation.

7. Listen Actively: Encourage the other person to share their perspective.

8. Find Common Ground: Stay open to different viewpoints.

9. Express Gratitude: Appreciate their willingness to engage.

10. Plan Next Steps: Agree on who will do what by when.
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Consider the case of Morgan, a leader frustrated with her head of sales, Evan. By avoiding a hard conversation, she was denying Evan the chance to improve. With guidance, Morgan prepared a structured conversation, focusing on clarity and impact. The result? A potentially transformative 15-30 minute discussion.

Remember, having hard conversations takes courage, but each one is a learning opportunity that builds confidence. So, is there a conversation you're ready to have today? Imagine the relief and satisfaction of addressing the issue head-on.

If you need support, don't hesitate to reach out for guidance.

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